After the "I Do's"

 

"My precious gift from God, with Christ as my model, I promise to love and cherish you. To serve you and serve God with a willing heart. To help you stay grounded in Christ and His love. In times of sorrow and pain, I will be your shoulder to cry on. In times of joy, I will be your smile. I promise to support you through all stages of life, until God calls me home."

 

 

Those were the words Kevin and I said to each other 10 years ago when we stood in front of our closest friends and family, ready to spend the rest of our lives together. Little did we know how our lives would unfold. Little did we know how much sorrow and pain and joy there would be.

Kevin and I first met when I was a freshman in college. He was best friends with the guy I was dating. We met a few times, got each other's AOL Instant Messenger screen names, and when his best friend and I broke up, that was it... I thought that I would never see him (or any of the other York people I had come to know) again.

6 years later, as I was online, Kevin's screen name popped up on my computer. His message was short, and very much to the point: "I am cleaning out my AOL IM, if you do not remind me who you are, I will delete you." Yep, that's how it all began... A threat of deletion catapulted us into this amazing and crazy journey.

I knew who he was instantly. I remembered how he looked (you don't run into too many 6ft 4 red-headed guys). I remembered how sweet he was. He did NOT remember who I was, but we continued to chat online for about a month. We decided it was time to meet (again) in person, so I came out to York. We had a wonderful first date, and I learned a lot about him during that time. I learned that family was important to him. He showed me this by talking on the phone with his younger brother, who was stationed in Las Vegas, for half an hour while we were hiking. (Yes, I know for many the whole being on the phone for half an hour would have been a turn off...)  I also learned about his fear of snakes!

It only took us 2 months to figure out we wanted to marry each other. I knew he was the kind of man I wanted to spend my life with. He had the 3 non-negotiable qualities I needed in a man: a strong love for God, a love for children/teens, and a love for music. Without any significant hesitations from my parents (which was kind of surprising), Kevin was given their blessing to marry me.

We spent the next 6 months living in two different states, planning our lives together. Wedding plans went smoothly, thanks to my mom who took on the brunt of it. A dress was found, family friends became involved in the photos and flowers. The church I had spent my entire life in was reserved. We bought a house that Kevin worked on to get it ready for when I moved in. Everything was in place...

But no amount of planning could have prepared us for what we were about to begin... Nothing could have prepared our hearts for the journey God was taking us on. In those 8 months of courting and planning, we would never have believed the amazing things that would happen in the coming 10 years. 4 beautiful, loving, caring little boys. A brief, but joy filled (and sorrow filled) journey with our daughter. Medical issues, money issues. Medical healing, financial healing. Job changes upon job changes.

When we said our vows, we would have never been able to imagine how many times we would need each other's shoulders to cry on. Or how many smiles would come across our faces. We didn't know how hard it would be to stay grounded in Christ, but how fulfilling it would be to make it through the storm. We could not fathom the work and intentionality needed to serve each other, to love each other, even when we don't want to. We also could not fathom the overwhelming joy and contentment and peace that comes with being married, with sharing our lives, living our lives focused on God.

Kevin has been, and always will be, my precious gift from God. His strength, his joy, his silliness bring me balance in times I feel unsteady. His love for God and desire to serve Him energizes me. I believe with all of my heart that God smiled an extra big smile the day Kevin and I married.

As we continue on this journey, I pray that God continues to bless us with the pain and sorrow and joy and laughter. That He continues to be at the forefront of our hearts and our marriage. That He gives us the strength to love and serve each other, especially when it's hard. And that He will bless us with many more years to walk together.