Everybody who spends enough time with me knows how much I LOVE staying in my comfort zone. I am not one to try too many new things... And I am certainly not one to try anything that causes me great discomfort (and there's A LOT that causes me great discomfort!). When I say discomfort, I mean a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach... An uneasy feeling that something could go wrong, like not doing well or someone not liking me...
I clearly defined my comfort zone and spent a good bit of time defending it. Oh, sure, I would tweak it a little, and stretch it some, but I kept my comfort zone in my control. My parameters felt good, my boundaries safe and sound.
But, I was missing out... on A LOT! I started to notice that I was wishing to do more, to be more. I started to feel God pushing harder for me to step outside of what I thought was comfortable. The more He pushed, the more I began to ache. The longing to try more, to stretch more became almost palpable. I was no longer content staying where I was, and yet was terrified to move. The battle between the aching and the fear wreaked havoc on me. I wanted to stay put, but God wanted more.
So, I gave in a little, still holding tightly to what little control I thought I had. I took the vision God had given me for our Special Needs Ministry, and I shared it with our leadership. To some, this might seem like a small thing. For me, this was HUGE. The comfortable me would have not gone through with the meetings, as that brought butterflies and even some fear. I didn't want to fail the team. What if they didn't see the vision? More importantly, what if they didn't share the vision? The doubts and fears rattled in my mind even days later. BUT, I had done it. And amazing things have come from me taking those steps outside of my comfort zone.
But it didn't end there... God wasn't done with me (and is still NOT done with me). I still had the belief that I had some control. Still held tightly to my now slightly bigger comfort zone. But the ache was still there. The quiet desires to stretch became louder and the fear fought harder. With the encouragement of my husband, I chose to stretch and put myself out there in the craft world. I actually sold some of my signs to strangers! That's right, I sold things I created to people I didn't know. (I am sure some of you are thinking that I am being silly. Some of you are probably wondering what the big deal is. Wish I could explain it to you, but I can't. Just know it was a big thing.)
As if that wasn't enough, even with the inner turmoil of my soul churning, I proceeded to agree to start a business selling my creations... My comfort zone has completely shattered from all of the stretching. There is no comfort zone to really speak of, because it got left somewhere far, far away!
Am I still scared? Sure. Am I nervous that everything will fall apart? Yep. Am I even more nervous about succeeding? You bet! But the funny thing is I'm okay with it. I'm okay with the nerves and maybe even the small amount of fear. Mostly because it's not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be.
You see, I am learning that the comfort zone I had created for myself wasn't as comfortable as I had made it out to be. And it certainly wasn't as rewarding... God doesn't call us to stay in our comfort zone. He calls us out into the great unknown (unknown to us, that is). That's where we learn to trust Him. That's where we find out more about ourselves. And, as a friend pointed out, that's where the "magic" happens. I wasn't really happy in my comfort zone. The boundaries and parameters I put up to keep me comfortable actually made me more uncomfortable. Because the aches from the battle between my comfort level and God's calling are far worse than the nervousness and fear I have felt outside of that zone.
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