Joy in Hard times

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2

I remember reading that verse years ago, and chuckling to myself.  The words "trials" and "joy" were not at all words I would have put together in a sentence.  Who in their right mind would have joy in times of trial?  In my head, I eventually learned what that meant.  The joy James was talking about wasn't something that equated to a giddy, happiness.  Rather, it is an emotion intended to feel past the yuckiness and into what God is truly doing with you.  The joy comes from the BIGGER PICTURE...  My heart, however, took many more years to really figure it out.  (As it tends to go with me.  My heart is always slower to learn things!)

As I get older and experience more trials, I have focused more on what James was saying.  I could easily get wrapped up in the trials, as there tends to be many at one time.  I could wallow in discouragement (as I was in this post: Discouraged) for quite a long time.  But, after a few moments, sometimes days (and even weeks), I move from that discouragement to a place of almost joy.  My trials are still there.  They don't suddenly disappear when my attitude changes. I am still a mom of 4 boys.  I am still trying to juggle the needs of 2 boys on the Spectrum, as well as working a full time job.  And, oh yeah, let's not forget that I have a husband and a house and friends.  Financial issues, sickness, and other hard  times still hit my household.  None of that has changed.  BUT, the way I see things has changed immensely. 

I find myself in a place where I have not only accepted that this is my life, but I have found ways to see that this life is a GIFT from God.  The trials and frustrations I face are a way for God to shape me and mold me into what HE has created me for.  Each trial sharpens me.  Each frustration allows an opportunity to become MORE FOCUSED on Him.  It teaches me to persevere through the trials, because the end is so worth it! 

Ultimately, we are not here to have an easy life.  God NEVER promised for an easy life on earth.  He pretty much promised that we would face trials.  But it's those trials that can strengthen our faith.  If we move from discouragement, and fear, and anger, to trust and faith that God's intentions for us are good, we can find a way to find joy.  And those moments of joy help us to persevere through the next trial.  Because, with each trial, with each moment of joy within the trial, we see God even more.  We see we can trust Him and His plan.  We can see His hand in the trial, and we can hold on to His truth. 

I can honestly say that I am thankful for the life God has given me.  I am thankful for the good things that God has given me, like a wonderful husband and 4 beautiful boys.  I am thankful for my job, as it is way MORE than just a job.  I am grateful for the friends and family in my life.

But, here's the thing.  I am also thankful for the moments in my life that have not been so good.  I am thankful not that I lost a baby girl at only 15 weeks pregnant, but I am thankful that God was there to help pull me through.  I am not thankful that 2 of my sons are on the Autism Spectrum, but I am thankful that God helps me help them.  With every trial, no matter how hard, I am thankful that I have a God that I can trust.  And it is that trust, and that faith in Him, that helps me wake up every morning and go to bed every night, ready to persevere through the trials.  It is my faith in HIM and HIS plans for me that allow me to find joy, even in the midst of some really hard times. 

I am not perfect.  It sometimes takes a LONG time for me to find even a glimmer of joy when life is not going my way.  And it is definitely NOT a pretty process (you can ask my husband and friends)! But it is worth the ugliness to find the joy.  Because I have found that it is the joy in knowing God is shaping me and molding me in the hard times that keeps me going.