With that said, there were some things that didn’t go so well. In the midst of being “stuck” at home with the six of us for weeks on end, we found that space in our little farmhouse was getting harder and harder to find. Our ever-growing giants, as I lovingly call them, are getting too big for our house. Patrick’s almost 6 foot at not yet 14 years old. The other three continue to grow like weeds as well!
We came to the realization that either we needed to add on to the house OR we needed to move to something a little bigger. After a huge disappointment of not being able to work out adding on to our house, we made the decision to pursue buying a new house. And this was NOT what I really wanted... and honestly, there’s still a part of me that doesn’t want to leave.
I love this house. I love that we have taken apart almost every room and put it back together again. We have poured our blood, sweat and tears into this home. And I don’t want to leave it. But, in the same breath, I am excited to see what house God has waiting for us. Maybe it’ll be a house we don’t have to fix, but just make it our own... Maybe it will be a house big enough for the boys to have a place to hang out with their friends and still allow Kevin and myself a place to hang out as well. I guess we’ll find out soon enough!
In less than one week, our house will go on the market. Pictures of each room will be out there for everyone and anyone to see. And it makes me sad. They won’t know what we changed. They won’t see how we had to tear down horse hair plaster and cleaned the dust from that plaster for weeks after. They won’t know that the small bedroom barely bigger than a walk in closet was where four beautiful babies slept throughout the years. They won’t know that the red room downstairs was where A LOT of the hard work happened with Tyler and Benjamin during therapy, and then became the center of our business. I know the people looking at the house won’t care. But I do.
This is the house we walked through Christmas Eve of 2004 and could see the potential it had. Kevin moved in and began the process of making it our own. Little did we know what the coming years would bring. We celebrated the birth of the four boys. We mourned the loss of our daughter. We maneuvered through developmental delays for two of the boys. We threw parties and dinners, and shared life with those we love. Job changes, surgeries, broken bones all happened here. We started our business here. We worked our tails off to move from being out of control financially to being only months away from being debt-free. And we’re leaving it...
I guess the biggest thing is that this is where I grew up. Like, truly grew up. I had my childhood home back in NJ. But this is the house where I grew the most. I was 25 when I moved into this house. I was young and naive. It wasn’t until after the boys were born that I really discovered who I was and began growing more confident in the woman God created. I am NOT the person I was when I moved into this house 15 years ago.
There is no question that God is leading us to a new home. We have prayed about this for months. He has blessed us as we take each step. I know He will continue to bless us. I know this is where our family is supposed to be headed. I know our new house will be amazing and that we will love it. I just didn’t think it would make me this sad and nervous...
God’s got this. He has a plan, and we’re trying to follow it. And as I continue to move forward, I will trust him. I will also allow myself time to mourn the loss of this amazing home and the memories we have created. God has been good to us these past 15 years. And He will continue to be good to us in our next home!
