In less than a month, we as voting Americans will be walking into schools, administrative building, municipal buildings to vote on our next President of the United States. The next four years will be shaped by the person who wins this election... And that thought has left me feeling fearful, stressed, and lacking in hope for our country.
I have found myself on many occasions being overwhelmed by the negative political ads that run constantly. I feel scared by the thoughts of what could be. Our choices are not exactly prime choices this time around. I get lost in thought over what type of leaders my boys will have to "look up to", and not in good ways. I know I am not alone in this... I know that many people are scared of what the future holds. And that fear is showing in our interactions, in our conversations, in our day to day life.
Facebook is exploding with posts tearing down the candidates. Even worse, it's exploding with posts and comments tearing down people who side with either of the candidates. It's filled with name-calling and threats and arguments. Civil disagreements are becoming a thing of the past. And this leaves me feeling saddened and scared for the future.
This sadness and fear I have been feeling has been consuming me. And, I realized that I had managed to lose my grip on something extremely important... HOPE. I completely lost sight of my hope in tomorrow. I lost sight of my hope in the future that God has laid out for me and for my family. I had certainly lost sight of my hope in what God has in store for our country.
God has promised us that He is sovereign and just and loving and merciful. He has promised us futures filled with hope. It truly doesn't matter who becomes president this year, in four years, or in fifty years... Because God has promised to be with us ALWAYS. Yes, our president significantly impacts policies that have great impact on our lives. Yes, our president (and their beliefs) will shape our futures. But, no president has the power to impact our lives, our hearts, our families like God does.
The outcome of this year's election will greatly impact us all not just as Americans, but as human beings in general. The next four years will be different than any other time, no matter who wins the election. Changes will happen, for both the positive and the negative. That comes with new leadership... But no matter the leader, no matter the changes, no matter the outcome of this election, our God will still be God on November 9th. He will still be walking with us daily. He will still be loving us in a way only He can love us.
And so, during this unsettling time, I am choosing to put my HOPE in Him. To put aside my fears and anxieties, and to focus on HIS promises. He is my hope, today, tomorrow, over the next four years, and for decades to come.
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
When Doubt Creeps In...
The school year has begun, and we are well into October! The leaves are changing, the air is colder, and my favorite sweatshirts and boots are out! I love Fall, and all that comes with it! It's the season we do the most outside things... Like apple picking and hiking and going for walks. The boys love the Fall too. There's way less whining about being hot outside, and there's no one panicking about bees (okay, fine, really it's I'm not panicking about bees!). We love this time of year!
But there is a part of me that struggles every Fall, or at least since Patrick started school. You see, this season brings a new school year. And, a new school year brings new challenges for the boys and for me as their mom. The boys embrace these new challenges like champs! They eagerly wait for the reviewing to be over so they can move on to the "good stuff". They enjoy meeting new friends, new teachers, and certainly love the new routine. They rock the beginning of the year, and I find myself overwhelmed...
I become overwhelmed by the amount of things I need to keep track of (having 4 boys in school brings A LOT of information). I become overwhelmed by the new ways to do math, and the new way to teach spelling, and which child is doing what type of WEB reading. I want so desperately to be THAT mom who can truly know what the boys are doing that I cause myself to become overwhelmed. And, because I certainly can't be perfect at this whole keeping up with everything, the secret ninja I call DOUBT creeps in.
And, like clockwork, that is exactly what has been happening over the past couple months. It started with doubting my abilities to keep up with the boys' school stuff. But, it slowly inched it's way into so much more. I found myself doubting myself as a mom in general. Do I love them enough? Do they know I love them? Have I taught them well enough? Do I listen to them? Am I positively impacting them?
It then spread throughout other areas of my life... Doubt took over how I felt about my abilities as a wife. Do I really love and honor Kevin the way a "good wife" should? Am I truly respecting him? Am I the wife Kevin needs?
Once the doubt creeps in, it can easily take over. Just like that, I was doubting my place as a mom, a wife, and soon I was doubting who I was outside of the home. I began doubting if I was doing a good enough job supporting the boys' teachers. Was there more I should be doing for them? I began doubting my work at the church... Was I truly making an impact on the families? Was I really being a good leader, one that people would want to follow?
Before I knew it, I was residing in a big puddle of doubt, and I found myself questioning everything. If it had to do with me doing anything, I doubted whether I was the right person to do it. Then, one day, I realized the awful, secret ninja had struck again and that it was time to attack it head on. So, I did what I should have been doing the whole time. I stopped and prayed. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more for God to show me my doubts were wrong. To bring moments where I could see the truth. To bring people into my space who could help me sort through the doubt and find my confidence again.
I am still fighting the ninja... God is still showing me ways to combat the doubt. But, for every doubt I feel, I confidently trust that God will show me the truth. It's a slow journey for me. It's been a journey that sometimes I get stuck on. Probably more than just sometimes. I could let it swallow me up... It's an option. BUT, it's not a good option, not a wise option. I cannot live my life fully if I let doubt run the show.
God wants us to live confidently in who He has created us to be. He wants us to walk proudly on this earth using the talents and qualities He has given us to impact others. We are called to love, to serve, to care for those around us, and when there's doubt in who we are, it's hard to really shine for Him.
So, in this beautiful season of Fall, I am choosing to hold on to the truths of who I am, what I have been created to do, and what God has in store for, and am pushing the sneaky ninja Doubt out of the way. It might trip my up from time to time, but it will NOT take me out!
But there is a part of me that struggles every Fall, or at least since Patrick started school. You see, this season brings a new school year. And, a new school year brings new challenges for the boys and for me as their mom. The boys embrace these new challenges like champs! They eagerly wait for the reviewing to be over so they can move on to the "good stuff". They enjoy meeting new friends, new teachers, and certainly love the new routine. They rock the beginning of the year, and I find myself overwhelmed...
I become overwhelmed by the amount of things I need to keep track of (having 4 boys in school brings A LOT of information). I become overwhelmed by the new ways to do math, and the new way to teach spelling, and which child is doing what type of WEB reading. I want so desperately to be THAT mom who can truly know what the boys are doing that I cause myself to become overwhelmed. And, because I certainly can't be perfect at this whole keeping up with everything, the secret ninja I call DOUBT creeps in.
And, like clockwork, that is exactly what has been happening over the past couple months. It started with doubting my abilities to keep up with the boys' school stuff. But, it slowly inched it's way into so much more. I found myself doubting myself as a mom in general. Do I love them enough? Do they know I love them? Have I taught them well enough? Do I listen to them? Am I positively impacting them?
It then spread throughout other areas of my life... Doubt took over how I felt about my abilities as a wife. Do I really love and honor Kevin the way a "good wife" should? Am I truly respecting him? Am I the wife Kevin needs?
Once the doubt creeps in, it can easily take over. Just like that, I was doubting my place as a mom, a wife, and soon I was doubting who I was outside of the home. I began doubting if I was doing a good enough job supporting the boys' teachers. Was there more I should be doing for them? I began doubting my work at the church... Was I truly making an impact on the families? Was I really being a good leader, one that people would want to follow?
Before I knew it, I was residing in a big puddle of doubt, and I found myself questioning everything. If it had to do with me doing anything, I doubted whether I was the right person to do it. Then, one day, I realized the awful, secret ninja had struck again and that it was time to attack it head on. So, I did what I should have been doing the whole time. I stopped and prayed. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more for God to show me my doubts were wrong. To bring moments where I could see the truth. To bring people into my space who could help me sort through the doubt and find my confidence again.
I am still fighting the ninja... God is still showing me ways to combat the doubt. But, for every doubt I feel, I confidently trust that God will show me the truth. It's a slow journey for me. It's been a journey that sometimes I get stuck on. Probably more than just sometimes. I could let it swallow me up... It's an option. BUT, it's not a good option, not a wise option. I cannot live my life fully if I let doubt run the show.
God wants us to live confidently in who He has created us to be. He wants us to walk proudly on this earth using the talents and qualities He has given us to impact others. We are called to love, to serve, to care for those around us, and when there's doubt in who we are, it's hard to really shine for Him.
So, in this beautiful season of Fall, I am choosing to hold on to the truths of who I am, what I have been created to do, and what God has in store for, and am pushing the sneaky ninja Doubt out of the way. It might trip my up from time to time, but it will NOT take me out!
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