There are very few things in life that I absolutely hate... Actually, I can really only think of one thing I absolutely, unequivocally despise... ROLLER COASTERS! There is nothing about a roller coaster that I like. The sound of the rattling track, the screams coming from other people only bring about anxiety for me. The feel of the car whipping back and forth does nothing for me, except make me ill. And let me tell you, there is NOTHING good that comes from the horrible feeling of my stomach in my throat as the car drops from the top of a hill. NOTHING!
When I was little and living in New Jersey, we had visited Hershey Park and rode on the Comet. My memory of that ride was me being terrified, curled up under the bar where your feet are supposed to go. I remember being sick afterward and never EVER wanted to ride it again.
But, after marrying my husband and living only 25 minutes from Hershey Park, I put on my big girl pants and rode the Comet again (as well as some of the other roller coasters). And we returned for Kevin's birthday for another 2 years. By the last year, I had grown to despise the roller coasters. The horrible feeling with each drop became increasingly worse with each year. It got so bad that while on the last roller coaster I will ever ride, I looked at Kevin and said, "I hate you! I hate you!" Now, I didn't really hate him, but I certainly did hate the roller coaster. I think Kevin finally figured out that there would be no more riding roller coasters with me!
There's a point to this story, I promise! I have equated my life on many occasions as being like a roller coaster (as do many other people). Life has ups and downs, and twists and turns. But, I realized for me that with my whole hating roller coasters thing, comparing my life to them was probably not a wise thing...
Life is exciting. The thrills that I get from watching my boys grow up and seeing my husband enjoy the gifts God has given him are beyond amazing. I get a front row seat to watch Kevin continue to grow and become closer to God. I am an active participant in the lives of 4 very beautiful, awesome boys, who love God and each other.
Life is sweet and joyous. There have been so many precious moments in my life. Marrying Kevin was one of the most precious moments... I remember the feeling of walking down the aisle towards him, with joy-filled tears in my eyes, and a peace in my heart that God had great things planned for us. Meeting each one of my boys for the very first time brought such joy to my heart. Such a sweet and precious time connecting with them, praying for them.
Life is hard and emotional. Painful things happen, mistakes are made, rock bottom is found. But I find myself being ever so thankful for the hard stuff. It's in the hard stuff that I grow and learn the most. It's always in the hard times that I see how God truly is with me ALL the time. I might get angry, I might throw a tantrum or two (or sometimes ten), but in the end, I find myself thankful for the experiences. I cannot say the same for roller coasters!
Life is sad. Loss happens, and with that loss comes sadness and heartache. I have witnessed great sadness as friends and family have lost their loved ones. I have been to too many celebration of life services in the past year, some being for young children and teens. Death is a part of life, and it is beyond sad. And yet, with that sadness comes a peace, a glimmer of hope. For I know that death isn't the end. It's just the beginning... The beginning of a much better life than the one we have here on Earth.
Life is life. It's not like anything else in the world for me. There's no ride, no food, no single experience that I could use to sum up what life is like. I have been blessed with LIFE. I get to live life every day until God calls me home. And, unlike my experiences on roller coasters, I LOVE the ups and downs, twists and turns. The ups and downs, twists and turns means I am still alive. I still have a life to live for God. To experience his grace and love and blessings. To enjoy my boys, my husband, the ministries I serve in. To share life with others.
In my eyes, my life is no where near like being a roller coaster... It is SO MUCH BETTER!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
Thursday, February 12, 2015
A Little Perspective
These past few days I have been thinking a lot about perspective... The perspective a person takes shapes their entire way of thinking and believing. Perspective affects how we take on each day. And, lately, my perspective has had a very negative effect on my daily life.
For a while now, I have been kind of seeing myself as a victim. A victim of a chaotic and overwhelming life, poor decisions, and relational failures. I would even go as far as saying there were many a time when I felt helpless (and hopeless). Things both in my control and out of my control happened, and all I could really see were the negative things. My perspective each day was that this life is HARD, and it's always going to be HARD, and there's nothing I can do about it.
BUT, the pity party had to end. I am NOT a victim. I am not helpless. And I am certainly not hopeless. I just needed to spend less time (if not NO time) looking at the bad stuff, and way more time on the good stuff. I needed to find the awesome things that were happening... And, let me tell you, there are A LOT of awesome things happening!
For one, I have learned some amazing things about myself. Tough journeys and events in life always shape me more and more into who God created me to be. I am learning to trust myself more, rely on other's opinions less, and to stand on the two feet God gave me with confidence. Things have been hard, BUT I don't have to spend all of my time focused on it.
I have been blessed with an amazing family, who has been relatively healthy this winter. Yes, we've gotten the head cold thing, and 4 of the guys got the stomach flu, BUT none of us have been sick for very long. None of us have been deathly sick. And, although going through the sicknesses at the time STINKS (sometimes literally), we truly have been blessed. We've had medications to help with symptoms, antibiotics to kick out the germs, and comfy beds and couches to rest on. There could definitely be worse places to be when sick!
We've been faced with tough decisions, and like I have said before, I miss the days when my hardest decision was what to have for lunch. Do we send Ben to Kindergarten or keep him in Preschool another year? How do we deal with the ever changing issues Tyler has been struggling with at home? What areas can we cut out of our budget? What can we sell, what do we keep? Should one of us get a second job?
Yep, that's the kind of stuff we have been facing. Some were easier than others to decide on. What I lost sight of were the amazing things that will come out of those decisions. No matter what would be decided, God would have blessed us. He would be present with Ben whether he went to Kindergarten or Preschool. God has always been, and always will be, with Tyler and us through the daily struggles of extreme chattiness and meltdowns. God's hand has ALWAYS been guiding us through our financial issues and He has blessed us time and time again.
My lack of a positive perspective left me feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and lost. My negative perspective kept me buried in the junk and messiness of my life. When I began to change what I was looking at, what I would focus my attention on, I started to see past the messiness. I started to see the amazing things that were happening amidst the junk.
The junk is going to happen. And messiness is just a part of life on earth. BUT, I don't have to let it bury me. I can spend my time looking at my 4 beautiful boys, and how their lives are starting to unfold. God has really blessed my husband and me with them... There's not a day that goes by that God isn't using them and growing them.
I have a lot of things to be thankful for, a lot of blessings that fill my heart with joy: good jobs, great family and friends, opportunities to serve God, a solid plan to get financially stable. Bad things WILL happen. Life will get messy, and sometimes stay messy for a while. Just because it's happening, or going to happen, doesn't mean I have to spend my time and energy in it.
The perspective we have impacts our daily life. It impacts our heart, our minds, and our soul. It affects our relationships, especially our relationship with God. When we shift our perspective from negative to positive, we open ourselves up to so MANY opportunities of joy and grace and contentment. The hardest part about having a positive perspective is maintaining it... And that, my friends, I am still working on!
For a while now, I have been kind of seeing myself as a victim. A victim of a chaotic and overwhelming life, poor decisions, and relational failures. I would even go as far as saying there were many a time when I felt helpless (and hopeless). Things both in my control and out of my control happened, and all I could really see were the negative things. My perspective each day was that this life is HARD, and it's always going to be HARD, and there's nothing I can do about it.
BUT, the pity party had to end. I am NOT a victim. I am not helpless. And I am certainly not hopeless. I just needed to spend less time (if not NO time) looking at the bad stuff, and way more time on the good stuff. I needed to find the awesome things that were happening... And, let me tell you, there are A LOT of awesome things happening!
For one, I have learned some amazing things about myself. Tough journeys and events in life always shape me more and more into who God created me to be. I am learning to trust myself more, rely on other's opinions less, and to stand on the two feet God gave me with confidence. Things have been hard, BUT I don't have to spend all of my time focused on it.
I have been blessed with an amazing family, who has been relatively healthy this winter. Yes, we've gotten the head cold thing, and 4 of the guys got the stomach flu, BUT none of us have been sick for very long. None of us have been deathly sick. And, although going through the sicknesses at the time STINKS (sometimes literally), we truly have been blessed. We've had medications to help with symptoms, antibiotics to kick out the germs, and comfy beds and couches to rest on. There could definitely be worse places to be when sick!
We've been faced with tough decisions, and like I have said before, I miss the days when my hardest decision was what to have for lunch. Do we send Ben to Kindergarten or keep him in Preschool another year? How do we deal with the ever changing issues Tyler has been struggling with at home? What areas can we cut out of our budget? What can we sell, what do we keep? Should one of us get a second job?
Yep, that's the kind of stuff we have been facing. Some were easier than others to decide on. What I lost sight of were the amazing things that will come out of those decisions. No matter what would be decided, God would have blessed us. He would be present with Ben whether he went to Kindergarten or Preschool. God has always been, and always will be, with Tyler and us through the daily struggles of extreme chattiness and meltdowns. God's hand has ALWAYS been guiding us through our financial issues and He has blessed us time and time again.
My lack of a positive perspective left me feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and lost. My negative perspective kept me buried in the junk and messiness of my life. When I began to change what I was looking at, what I would focus my attention on, I started to see past the messiness. I started to see the amazing things that were happening amidst the junk.
The junk is going to happen. And messiness is just a part of life on earth. BUT, I don't have to let it bury me. I can spend my time looking at my 4 beautiful boys, and how their lives are starting to unfold. God has really blessed my husband and me with them... There's not a day that goes by that God isn't using them and growing them.
I have a lot of things to be thankful for, a lot of blessings that fill my heart with joy: good jobs, great family and friends, opportunities to serve God, a solid plan to get financially stable. Bad things WILL happen. Life will get messy, and sometimes stay messy for a while. Just because it's happening, or going to happen, doesn't mean I have to spend my time and energy in it.
The perspective we have impacts our daily life. It impacts our heart, our minds, and our soul. It affects our relationships, especially our relationship with God. When we shift our perspective from negative to positive, we open ourselves up to so MANY opportunities of joy and grace and contentment. The hardest part about having a positive perspective is maintaining it... And that, my friends, I am still working on!
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