What if...

As a general rule, I have tried to stay clear of the "what if's" in life...  What if I had studied harder?  What if I had eaten less junk while pregnant?  What if I had gone to a different school?  What if I had blonde hair? I learned a long time ago that the "what if's" are more often than not just a way to get stuck in the past.  A way to hang on to mistakes that we can't change.  (I could give you a whole long list of my past "what if's".)

Sometimes, the "what if" can be about things that probably would NEVER happen. For instance, how many times have you asked your spouse or friend or family member, "What if you won the lottery? What would you do with the money?" I cannot tell you how many times my husband has thought about that.  Oh, sure, it would be great to win the lottery.  But it's not very helpful to our family to daydream about winning something we don't even play!

But, there's another kind of "what if" that I have noticed myself thinking about more and more...  It comes from a different part of me.  The part of me that wants to make a difference.  The part of me that has been seeing my life, my role, my story in a very different light.  These are thoughts that have been shaping me as a leader, as a mother, as a wife, and most importantly, as a child of God. 

What if I stopped focusing on my to-do lists?  What if I put aside the busyness and focused on the here and now?  What if I were more present as a leader, a mother, a wife?  What if I let go of my fear and wholly trusted God? What if my STORY wasn't the only story being told? (I know, sounds a bit obvious, since, well, there's a bazillion people on earth...  But, I tend to get lost in my own story, and forget about all the stories around me!)

Maybe age has changed me, or maybe it's the amazing influences God has placed in my life, but the person shaping, life changing, story making "what if's" in my head have moved to a place of action.  I no longer just THINK it...  I DREAM it...  I DO it.  The "what if's" have turned from "wouldn't it be nice" to "how can I make that happen?"

I have let go of many of my to-do's.  I no longer run at 90 mph ALL the time (maybe half the time now!). I have more "focused" time with my family, Ministry Partners, and friends. There's still some fear, but I am learning to not let it run me.  And, I am way more in tune with the stories of those around me. The "what if's" have shaped my everyday interactions, including with God.

I LOVE talking about "what if's"...  I love to ask "what would it look like if...". (Up until just a few months ago, those two previous statements would have NEVER come out of my mouth. Just sayin'!) It's a part of dreaming, growing, stretching... Something I  am only beginning to really embrace.  Something my mentor and boss is teaching me (or maybe reminding me how) to do.

What are your "what if's"?  Do you find yourself stuck in the past "what if's"? Or maybe you're a dreamer and have "what if's" that could change the way you live life or serve others...  Wherever you are in the "what if's", where is God leading you?