This school year brought a lot of obstacles and a lot of growth. Watching the boys become young men has left with a mixed bag of emotions. I am sad to see my babies are no longer babies. The cuteness has faded. Even our youngest, who is turning 9 in August, no longer has the "cute" factor he once did. Rather, they are all handsome. They are all looking more like young adults, more like their dad everyday.
I'm left feeling nervous about what's next for them. It's not easy being 9, 10, 11, and 13. There are so many life lessons they will learn over the next coming years, and I'm worried that I won't have the tools needed to help them through these lessons. They'll have so many experiences, good and bad, and there's this fear of mine that I'm going to somehow mess them up on their journeys.
There's also a level of excitement! It's been so exciting to watch them each find their niche. Benjamin is still plucking away at guitar. He's finding his love for worship, and we can his passion shine through. Tyler has found a good group of friends that love the things he loves. Patrick has become a leader at church, leading a small group of 1st graders and helping to run tech. And then there's Zachary... He has found his passion for music, which in turn has given the two of us a way to bond. Rather than just sharing our hot headedness and fiery temperament, we also share a love for playing instruments and listening to classical music.
I think the biggest thing I feel is pride... I am so unbelievably proud of our four boys! They have embraced life, and all that comes with it, and they strive to do their best. Our Benjamin takes on life with a positive and encouraging attitude, always there to make others feel better. He loves God, he loves his family, and he loves people in general. There isn't a day that goes by that he isn't building someone up, befriending the friendless, or reminding us of how much we are loved.
We have watched Zachary mature in so many ways this year. He works harder, is more focused, and definitely more patient with those around him. He is more caring and aware of what others are feeling. He has faced times where he could have easily been cocky and boastful, but has always chosen to be humble and kind. It has been fun to watch him use his gifts to teach others how to do what he does. I can see him being a teacher someday...
Tyler also has had quite a year of growth. He has worked so hard to overcome the obstacles that come with being on the spectrum. He has built friendships that go deeper than just surface level. He has strived to be less fearful and embrace new things with a sense of adventure. He has intentionally spent more time with animals so he can be less afraid of them. Everyday I can see him taking bolder steps, more mature steps. He's heading off to Middle School in the Fall, and he could not be more excited!! He is definitely going to rock 6th grade!
And then there's Patrick... He's turning 13 this Summer. My first born will be a teenager, and my heart couldn't be more proud of the young man he is becoming. He is kind and loving, funny and quirky, passionate, sarcastic, and an all around great guy. This year was hard for him, as Middle School seems to be for everyone. There have been a lot of life lessons, some easier than others. In the midst of school stuff, he's been trying to find his identity, to define who he wants to be. He is learning that his actions do NOT define who he is and that even when he fails, he is still the amazing person we know and love. With each step he takes, he is embracing more of who God made him, becoming more confident in himself, while never taking his eyes off of the important things in life. And, when he's not busy dealing with his own junk, he is right there helping support and love his brothers as they go through their junk. Our other boys could not have asked for a better big brother!
This school year has brought so many things... but the biggest thing is definitely growth. Between their emotion growth and maturity and their physical growth, the growing pains have definitely been outweighed by the amazing people they are becoming. God has blessed me and our family with some awesome boys, and I am excited to see what this Summer will bring!!!
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