Whose Voice?

I often find myself struggling to listen to God's voice...  I tend to hear my own inner voices (which are typically NOT the most positive) or I rely on the voices of those nearest to me.  Overall, the voices of those I am closest to are positive and re-affirming, and just plain nice to hear.  My husband's voice or my mom's voice help me become grounded again when my own voice starts to tear me down.  BUT, God's voice, I often miss because I am not quiet enough to hear Him.

Sometimes, there are other voices that say some very hurtful things.  Things that are not necessarily true or accurate.  Those voices, although they don't happen nearly as often, are always the loudest.  They are the voices that I cannot shake.  They spit out judgements and painful words that can cripple me.  One of those voices can outweigh the 20 other voices that have good things to say.  What's worse is that that one hurtful voice and opinion can mute out God's voice all together for me.

It shouldn't be that way.  No human's words or voice should ever mask God's voice... But, I find myself sometimes not hearing HIS voice over the hurtful voice.  I begin to believe what others say about who I am or what I have done.  I lose sight of who God thinks I am.  I get so engrossed in one person's opinion of me that I no longer can see what God sees. 

It's not easy for me to let go of what other people say about me, especially when it's negative.  I guess you could say I am very "thin" skinned.  But, I have to remember that ultimately, all that matters is what God says and thinks.  HE loves me.  HE created me to be me.  HE has plans for me.  And, if I choose to listen to everyone else, I can easily miss what HE is saying. 

I, in no way, have mastered listening to God's voice.  I struggle daily to ensure that the decisions I make are based on what God wants.  Negative emails, phone calls, in person conflict can devastate me in a matter of moments.  BUT, I strive to push all of it aside and listen to HIM.  It isn't easy.  AT ALL.  But, there is no better voice to listen to than that of our FATHER.