A New Season

I knew this day was coming... I had seen many little indicators that things were going to change. Each week, another sign would pop up, reminding me that my baby isn't a baby anymore. But, this evening, as I dropped my firstborn off at his first weekend retreat, it seemed to hit me like a ton of bricks. My ten year old, and in turn our family, has entered a new season... A season that will be filled with independence and discovery, trials and successes. And, with this new season, I find myself feeling slightly sad, but also filled with joy and excitement.

Patrick and I had a date before heading to the church for the retreat. We went to Panera's for the first time together, and Patrick was almost giddy over the idea of going somewhere more grown up (we typically have gone to Friendly's or McDonald's, so this was DEFINITELY more grown up)! As we we went to find a booth, he told me how much he loves going on dates with me. I teasingly said something like, "of course you do, it's free food!" He looked at me slightly shocked, and told me that it had nothing to do with the free food and everything to do with getting time with just me. He told me he loves to talk to me and to be silly with me. He gave me a huge grin and said, "You are the best mama I could have. I love going on dates with just you."

Now, I am not the most sappy or sentimental person, but the tears were starting to fill my eyes and my heart was about to burst. But, before I could say or do anything, Patrick made a farting noise with his mouth and broke out into the giggles. And just like that, I was reminded of my life with BOYS!!!

As we were driving to the church, I asked Patrick if I was allowed to hug him goodbye in the church. He had said sure! Hugs don't embarrass him... YET! We got to the church and went to check him in. He was so excited to be there that he almost passed the check in table. They checked his name off and before I even had a chance to blink, he was off running. With a huge smile on his face, he had found his friends playing a game, and that was that.

No goodbye, no hug, no nothing. And for a very brief moment, I was sad, maybe even a tad-bit hurt. But as I watched my ten year old son interact with his friends, joy crept in and took over any sadness I might have felt. There was my Patrick, confident in himself, independent... He didn't NOT say goodbye because he was ignoring me. It was because he was in his element and felt comfortable enough to leave me. Isn't that what we strive for as parents? For our children to be confident and independent?

I left the church feeling a surge of joy and excitement for this new season we have entered. It's a season that will certainly be challenging, but also rewarding. This is a time we get to watch our baby take flight and soar. The intense training that came during his younger years is shifting into a time of shaping, guiding, and reminding. He gets to explore his world with confidence, with the comfort of knowing we are his safety net should he fall along the way. He knows and loves God, and he loves the person he is becoming. And, although some of his exploration will end in tears and frustration, I am confident that Patrick will learn from them and keep moving forward.

When I first held Patrick in my arms, I had no idea what kind of person he would become. I had hopes of someone who was loving and kind and sweet natured. I prayed for someone who would have an impact on the world around him. I pictured my beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed baby growing into a mature young man who loved his family and God. And tonight, I saw just that... a maturing soon to be young man who is more loving and caring than I could have ever imagined. And watching the way his friends lit up when they saw Patrick assured me that he has definitely been a positive impact on those around him.

I cannot truly express how proud I am of Patrick and how thankful I am to God for choosing me to be his mama. I am so unbelievably blessed to be a part of Patrick's life and to have a front row seat to the things God has in store for him. I am buckled up and ready for this new season and for the wild ride it will be!!