Taking Care

Having 4 boys, a husband and a full time job has some really awesome joys!  There is never a shortage of hugs and kisses, laughs and smiles!  I am NEVER, ever bored.  We are always able to celebrate something, whether it's good work at school, peeing on the potty, dancing/singing to a new song, or other small milestones achieved.  There are always opportunities to grow and develop at work and at home.  It is amazing having this life!

There are, of course, some not so joyous aspects of having 4 boys, a husband and a full time job.  I spend a lot of time focusing attention on bathroom habits, whether it's changing the umpteenth diaper for the day or getting Tyler to actually go in the potty, not all over the potty (and the floor and the wall, etc.)  There are the constant questions about what we'll be eating or if we're going to be eating.  (Yes, I know this will continue to get worse as the boys start entering their teenage years!)  When I am not focused on the boys, I am focused on work, and when I am not focused on work, I am focused on Kevin.  AND, when I am not focused on the boys, work, or Kevin, it typically means I am asleep.

I have worked very hard at trying to find moments of time to focus on myself.  Whether it's locking myself in the bathroom to read a few minutes or to run out the store all by myself.  Sometimes, I get to go up to my room and watch netflix on my laptop while Kevin plays with the boys downstairs.  I try, but if I am not intentional about taking those moments, I could go weeks without ever really focusing on me.  Between the mix of busyness and some guilt, it is quite difficult to make the time.

But, this week, it has become quite evident that it HAS to be a priority for me.  After 3 weeks of feeling sick, I finally went to the doctors to find out what was going on.  It turns out that I have a sinus infection, double ear infection, and possibly strep.  The infection is so big that every lymph node in my body is swollen.  This, mixed with my Fibromyalgia, has made my entire body EXTRA sore.  And, as the doctor told me yesterday, had I come in earlier, it would never have gotten this bad.

I know he's right.  I know that had I taken time to really listen to my body, I would have already been feeling much better by now.  But, I didn't take the time.  I put every ounce of energy I had into continuing life as is.  There are things that I can't do...  Like take a "real" sick day.  Yes, I can call off of work. But, there are no sick days allotted for Mommy.  But, I could have taken the moments when my mom was here or Kevin was home to rest.  I could have done A LOT of things differently.

God wants each of us to take care of ourselves.  Our body, mind, and soul are ultimately HIS.  And He wants us to treat ourselves well.  Not to mention, when we take care of ourselves, we are in a much better place to take care of others.  This is NOT an easy thing for me.  But, it is necessary for me to learn.  IF I want to give to my family, my church, my Ministry Partners, the families of my church, I NEED to give to myself.  I need to give myself rest and grace.  When I can do that, and take care of myself, I can ultimately do so much more.  I'll get there...  I have to.  It's what God wants me to do (as well as all those people who love me!)