When I Grow Up...

Patrick, our oldest son, has been telling us from time to time what he wants to be when he grows up.  He has said everything from a rockstar to a doctor, a genius (my favorite!) to this week's answer, which is "a surveyor."  (When I asked him what a surveyor is, he said someone who makes maps.  Yay, kindergarten!)

All this talk of what Patrick might want to be when he grows up led me to think about what I used to want to be.  I remember wanting to be an architect.  I also wanted to be a teacher.  One consistent thing I said was that I wanted to be a mommy and a wife.  I remember truly believing that I could be ANYTHING I wanted to be.  Just like Patrick believes he can be whatever he wants to be.  He has no little voice in his head squashing any of his dreams. 

That got me thinking about when it is that we start losing that child-like ability to believe we can do anything.  When do we start allowing that little voice to squash our dreams?  Yes, that little voice is reason and logic and sometimes needs to be there.  We need the voice to help us make reasonable decisions.  But, sometimes, that voice tells us we can't do things that we might just be able to do.  It goes against what God has planned for us, because we are scared or doubt the abilities God has given us.

I know that I would NEVER have made a good architect.  I dislike geometry, and am pretty sure I would have needed a lot of geometry knowledge to be a good architect.  I probably could have been a decent teacher, but I don't really think that I would have been a great teacher.  I am now a mommy of 4 and a wife to a wonderful husband.  That dream did come true!  But, there are dreams of "When I grow up..." that I still struggle to believe could ever happen.  Mostly because that little voice is telling me that I am not qualified or good enough to do it.  There are always reasons in my head as to why I should not pursue those dreams. 

But, I am learning that IF God wants you (or me) to pursue your dreams, you have to let go of the doubts and fears.  He will give you  the strength to just go for it.  I have pursued some of my dreams, and am so very grateful I have.  I still have one more major dream to pursue, and I have to admit I am quite scared about doing so.  I will pursue it, in God's timing.  I will NOT allow the doubts and fears to keep me from my biggest dream.

Some days I wish I could be like Patrick again.  Full of hope and void of self-doubt.  Could you imagine what we as adults could accomplish if we didn't carry around the doubtful voice in our heads?  If we could truly believe that with God we can do anything He wants us to do?