Who I Am

For the last few years, I have been on a journey to fully know who I am in Christ.  It has been a tough, but very rewarding journey.  There are so many things I have learned about myself and about God, it could probably take several books to express it all!

It's hard to believe that 4 years ago, I was unable to see the worth that I had in Christ.  I felt my worth was based on what I could contribute in my home, as well as at work.  I was worth something IF I could bring home the much needed money or can get ALL of the chores/cleaning done in the house.  I was only contributing to my friends and family IF I was able to "fix" the problems or help them financially.  I couldn't see what I could bring to the table without DOING stuff.  But, after losing my job, I suddenly needed to learn a lesson I should have learned a long time before that.  I had worth whether I was working or not, whether I cleaned the entire house or only the bathroom.  It didn't matter to God what I was doing, because I was HIS child. 

As I started fully embracing the idea that I was a child of God, I started to reflect on who God made in me.  I have been exploring the strengths (and weaknesses) that I possess.  What I once saw as unfixable flaws in myself, I can now see as areas of growth to work on.  I have learned to use the strengths He has given me to fulfill HIS purpose for me.  More importantly, I have learned to be comfortable IN the strengths He has given me.  Up until this past year, I wasn't really comfortable in my own skin.  I didn't know how to be ME, to embrace the "wonderfully and fearfully made" ME. 

If you had asked me back in August of 2010 where I would be in February 2012, I would NEVER had said I would be the Nursery and Preschool Director.  I didn't think I had it in me...  I was just an average woman with no spectacular skills or leadership qualities.  BUT, God knew what He was doing.  And, as He helped me grow in Him, He opened doors I never thought would open for me.  My confidence has grown immensely.  But, it's not confidence in only myself...  It's confidence in myself when I am wholly leaning on God.  I CAN do anything through Christ, if it's God's will.

My growth these past few years have impacted me and my family (and my job) in ways that I can't even put into words.  The moment I realized who I really am in God was the moment my life changed forever.  Bad things still happen.  Tough times still come, and will continue to come for the rest of my life.  But, knowing who I am, knowing that God truly loves me and has a purpose for ME, makes the tough times more manageable.  And, it makes the triumphs and joys EVEN BETTER! 

When I die, I want to know that I have lived my life fully for God.  I want to know that my friends and family will describe me as wholly devoted to Christ and HIS plans.  Most importantly, I want to know that when I meet Jesus that He is proud of the woman I became...  The woman God had created me to be.