Love as a Verb

I met my husband I believe almost 13 years ago.  He was the best friend of a guy I was dating my freshman year of college.  I thought he was nice and attractive, but never thought about dating him (since I was already dating someone!)  We "chatted" a few times on AOL Instant Messenger, but when his best friend and I broke things off, we didn't really talk.  (Not because of hard feelings or anything...  Just because we didn't see each other anymore.)  Who would have thought 6 years later our lives would never be the same.

It had been 6 years since I had chatted with Kevin.  Then, one random day, he IM'd me, saying that he didn't remember who I was and that if I didn't remind him, he would delete me.  Yes, I said DELETE me.  (He was cleaning out his IM list to fit the new kids he was working with at a church.)  I reminded him, and thankfully, he didn't delete me.  In fact, we started talking every day. 

Within about 3 weeks, we had our first date.  We went on a hike, then out to dinner.  Now, some ladies may find some of the things he did kind of wrong...  While on our hike, he spent at least 20 minutes on the phone with his brother, who was living in Las Vegas.  I could have easily been offended, but instead, I was impressed that he valued that time with his brother.  It was actually attractive to me. 

There was another thing he did that I didn't even hear about until just before our wedding.  Apparently, he had a gun on him during our first date.  NO, I am not that scary or intimidating!  It just so happens that he had a carrying permit and has "red neck" in his blood.  I do joke with him to this day that he was carrying because he was afraid of a GIRL!

I quickly fell in love with him.  I had experienced a bad long-term, serious relationship and knew what I wanted and needed in a man.  And he had each quality that was important to me.  His love for God, for children, and for music swept me off my feet! 

Within 2 months of dating, we were engaged, and 6 months after that we were married.  (And, if you are keeping track with my other blogs, we were pregnant with Patrick 6 months after that.)  I was madly in love with Kevin.  From the way he talked to people to the way he interacted with all ages of children, he was right for me.  The feelings I had for him were bubbling over, and like any naive newlywed, I thought those feelings would last forever.

But, almost 7 years later, those bubbling, newlywed feelings have been replaced with a deep love and connection.  We have travelled through this married life, trusting on God to get us through each day.  We have seen heartache and trials and joys that words cannot describe.  We have argued, forgiven, laughed, and cried.  Most importantly, we have loved.  Sometimes, loving him has been difficult.  As with any marriage, becoming disconnected happens...  And, for whatever reason, love does not necessarily flow as easily.  But, I have learned those are the times when it is most important to love. 

Love is not only something you receive or give.  It is not just a feeling or emotion.  Love is something that needs to be done.  It needs to be an action.  What that action looks like should depend on who it is you're loving on.  For my husband, holding hands is an action of love.  And, when I am upset with him, it's an action that he needs the most and I want to do the least.  But, I am willing to stop at nothing to ensure that he is loved on. 

I have loved my husband for a long time.  I am still learning how to love on my husband, to love as verb, not just as a noun.  But, God has been a fabulous example to both of us of what that looks like.  There will still be days, sometimes even weeks, that loving him will not be easy.  But, I am sure that I am not always so easy to love on, either!  We made a promise years ago to each other, and that promise we will keep until God calls us home.

"My precious gift from God, with Christ as my model,
I promise to love you and cherish you,
To serve you and serve God with a willing heart,
To help you stay grounded in Christ and His love.
In times of pain and sorry, I will be your shoulder to cry on.
In times of joy, I will be your smile.
I promise to support you through all stages of life, until God calls me home." 
(Our wedding vows...  Reminds me of the ways I promised Kevin I would love on him.)